Quotable quotes on the first day of the first semester of the first year of college from my first few teachers:

"Math aims to imbibe discipline in you. If you don't have any, buy some."

"Take care of your health. You get all your diseases in college."

"If you have perfect attendance, no tardiness or absence in my Reiligion class, you will be exempted from the final exams."

During Sociology class:
Teacher: Ok, let's haggle for the passing grade in this class. Babaan natin ang 60%. Oi, mga marketing majors kayo, magaling dapat kayo dito. Any takers for 50%?
Class: everyone raises their hand
Teacher: How about 40%?
Class: everyone still raises their hand
Teacher: Those who want 50%, go to AMA. Those who want for 40%, dun kayo sa STI. How about 30%?
Student (under his breath): God bless this class.

!!!LATEST!!!
During Critical Thinking class:
Teacher na rackista: What do you want to do today?
Student: Aral na tayo sir!
Teacher: ULOOOOL! First day palang ah...

    If this an indicator of how life will be at least for the first term of this school year, things will be very very interesting.